Confessions
by Ryder24
Summary: I can't tell her how I feel...even though I want nothing more than to confess everything to her." R&R PLZ!
1. Chapter 1

Soo this is me writing another FF while I'm still writing my other one and I usually wait until one story is done before I start a new one but I just had to start this one and get it out there...yep yep yep!! Hopefully you'll like it. Well on with the story!!

XOXO

**Confessions **

It happened when I first met her. I had that feeling that I once felt before and I knew right there and than that she was wonderful. I saw it in her smile. I heard it in her laugh. I felt it in her touch. She invades my dreams every night. I can literally just sit there and listen to her talk about anything and everything. She makes me laugh when I don't want to smile for anyone. Except for her.

Of course within a instint everything changed for me when I found out that she was taken. When I found out that the girl that I was fallen for had someone to love her. Had someone to spend her time with.

That's when I knew that I would never say anything to her. That everything that I would love to say to her was going to be hidden in my thoughts.

--

**Before Ashley **

This semester is almost over and I couldn't be anymore thrilled about it. Of course I knew that I was going to have a hundred and one things to do this summer. I was starting my new job in June. I know that I'm going to be playing softball. A few of my friends already asked me to join the summer team. I was all for that. I missed playing softball.

That's all I did in high school. Eat, sleep softball. So when I got the opportunity to play on a team I didn't turn it down.

Along with the semester ending, so is the softball team that I'm coaching this year. Actually it's my second year coaching these girls and even though they could totally twist me the wrong way I loved coaching them.

All I'm wondering is if I was that bad in high school. Cause if I was I'm saying my apologies to my coaches now.

Sorry!

At least I'm doing something I love. Right?

--

Finals! Finals! Finals!

I swear I will be happy when I get my degree and don't have to worry about another freaking test.

I was sitting in front of my computer wondering if I should throw it out the window now or after I finish my paper. Ok so I know it aint my computers fault that we have the oldest internet connection at home. Nope not at all. I mean theres millions of people who still have phone connections right.

Right?!

**Instant Message **

**LilBit24 **

It's Haley.

**LilBit24- Hey you! **

**Spencer10- Hey. Homework. **

**LilBit24- Oh yeah...finals huh? **

**Spencer10- Yep. And my computers being gay so its taking me forever to get my information. **

**LilBit24- Damn sorry. **

**Spencer10- Oh well. If I don't finish it tonight than I'll do it in the morning at school. **

**LilBit24- Yeah. Well I'll let you get back to business. I just wanted to drop in and say HIII LOL. **

**Spencer10- You don't have to leave. **

**LilBit24- Nah it's cool. I'll let you get your study on! LMAO...ttyl **

**Spencer10- Haha ttyl **

**LilBit24 Signed off **

I signed off after saying bye to the rest of the guys I was talking to from my class. I swear I think they only talk to me for the work. I mean yeah I can help you out when you need it but shit don't always come to me for everything.

I promise I'm not frustrated.

Just annoyed.

--

That next afternoon I finished up my last final and I was out of there.

Tonight Aaron and I are going out to the bar to have a few. Ok maybe a little more than a few but we will see how that goes when we get to the bar.

"Is anyone else coming tonight?" I was on the phone with Aaron.

"Just my friend Rick."

"Who's rick?"

"A friend from work." Aaron worked at a school. I seriously have no idea how she does it but she loves it.

"Alright. I'll be over there in a few."

"Ok."

I got off the phone and continued to get ready. I wasn't really trying to impress anyone so I wasn't worried.

I was out the door and hoped into my truck. Now this is my baby. I love my Ford truck.

When I got to Aarons we got into her car and we drove to Dustys. This local bar that we come to a lot. There was a house band playing some country songs and all I did was head to the bar. After this long as day I was read for a drink and i was going to make sure that they kept them coming.

Amy was sitting at the bar with me while she was talking with her friend Rick. He was already here when we showed up so apparently he was waiting on us. Oh well.

"Spencer!" I turned around almost spilling my beer in my lap and I'm glad that I didn't.

I sat there in front of my friend Heather from the softball team that I was going to be playing on and she had a friend with her. I knew that I was talking with Heather but I couldn't keep my eyes off her of her friend. Her smile was cute as she stood there beaming like a bright light at me.

"Oh Spencer this is Ashley. She's going to be playing on the team with us." Just hearing that brought a smile to my face.

"Nice to meet ya." I got the words out of my mouth.

"You too." She was trying to talk over the music that was playing behind us.

Just as fast as she had brought the smile to my face it was taken away within a instint. Right behind her a girl came over and wrapped her arms around her waiste.

"That's danielle. Ashleys girlfriend. She's also on the team." Oh joy. I heard the words come from Heathers mouth but I didn't want them to be true. I put on a smile and I said hi.

So much for high hopes.

**(A/N: Hey you guys...sooo yes its new and I hope that I get readers...but of course it's all up to you guys on what to read and what not to read lol...but either way you know I still got love for ya'll(yes i said ya'll LOL)!! Anyways if you've read my stuff before than you know what to do...LEAVE THE LOVE!! XD THX!)**


	2. Chapter 2

Here I am once again bringing you guys another chpt because I'm soo thrilled that I got reviews...you guys are great and so loyal to my writing...talk about making a girl happy ;p

Sooo love you all and heres the next chpt!!

xoxo

**Confessions **

"RUN HOME! RUN HOME!" I was third base coach telling one of my girls to run home.

It was our final game and I was so happy that we were up by three. I watched Brittany turned third and right into home without so much as a touch from the other team.

I was proud of the girls. We ended out the season good.

"Coach are we going to do anything to celebrate our win?" I was in the dugout putting the bats and helmets into the equipment bag.

"Do you guys want to go out?" I asked them as I stood there with my hands on my hips.

"Hell ya!" I heard them all say at once. They sure jumped all over that.

"Alright. We can head over to Pizza Hut. Ya'll need to tell your parents where to go when they pick you up."

The girls grabbed there stuff and I waited there talking with some of the parents about the game when I see Heather in the corner of my eye. When did she get here?

"Hey girl. Nice job on the game today." Heather said as she walked up to me.

"Yeah the girls did a good job this season. Did you come alone?"

"No Ashley came along but she's kind of having some problems with Danielle right now so she's on the phone over there with her."

So Ashley saw the game. That's cool of her to come and watch.

"Dang that sucks."

"Yeah tell me about it. They were arguing the whole time we were in the car heading over here. I seriously thought that she was going to tell me to turn around and take her back home."

"Man that's serious."

"Yep but anyways I remembering you saying that you had your final game today with the team at the bar the other night so I decided to cheer you guys on. Than Ashley said she would join me. Plus I wanted to tell you that we have practice starting next week in Athens. I'll call you when I find out the time but yeah you have to come and have some drinks with us before we hit the field."

"Yeah you need to come out with us tonight!" Out of the corner of my eye stood Ashley. I swear she popped out of nowhere.

For someone who just had an arguement she sure looked ok about it.

Ashley smiled at me and even though I would of loved to have gone out with them I had made a promise to the girls to take them out for pizza.

"Drinks before practice and practice sounds good but for tonight I'm taking the girls out for pizza for the end of the season."

"That's cool. Maybe another time than. You know so we can all get to know eachother." I shook my head yes knowing that I would like that. Ashley seemed like she was really out going and a fun person to hang out with. To bad her girlfriend had to be there as well.

Oops did I just think that.

"Sure that sounds fine with me. So I'll see you guys later than." I said bye to both of them and I headed over to my truck and put all of my stuff in the back. I checked the area making sure that all of the girls got picked up already and as soon as I noticed that they were all gone I headed over to Pizza Hut.

--

That night when I got home I was beat. I swear this day is gone on forever and finally I'm able to to just sit and not have to worry about anything. I turned my computer on as I got ready for bed.

I was about to leave my room when my cell phone went home. I grabbed it and I looked at the name.

**1 Txt Message **

**Haley- Wats goin on? **

**Spencer- Just getting ready 4 bed. **

**Haley- Cool. How was the game? **

**Spencer- Good. We won. 6-3 **

**Haley- SWEET! So when do u start ur games? **

**Spencer- Soon. Heathers going 2 tell me the times when she finds out. **

**Haley- Sounds good. Well I'll let u get back to bed. **

**Spencer- Alright. I'll ttyl. **

**Haley- Yep. Yep. Nite. **

**Spencer- Nite. **

--

I'm tired. I'm super tired. Doing landscape for two banks took everything out of me today.

Of course now I have to go and take my equipment back to the house.

_Ring Ring _

"We're going out tonight." Aaron spoke into the phone when I answered the phone.

And here I thought I was going to stay home and catch up on some sleep. So much for that idea.

"What are we doing?"

"Heading to Cats Eye." Cats Eye was a pretty popular bar that we go to over the weekend.

"Ok. Just call me when we are going to head over there."

"Just come over around nine."

"Alright."

We hung up the phone and I continued to drive back home. I turned up my music on my iPod and just let my mind wander. I need to stop all of this thinking that I'm doing. It doesn't get me anywhere. All it does is bring me down.

When I got back to my house I was unloading my truck when I noticed that my sister was here. Dad was outside working on his truck when he saw me and came over to help me unload.

"How did everything go today?"

"Good I got both of the banks done."

"That's good. Do you have yards tomorrow?"

"Yeah I have the Millers and Graysons."

"Now don't forget that the Graysons like everything perfect in the back."

"Yeah I know dad." I swear he was always trying to tell me something that I already knew. He knew it too, he just had the tendency to bring it up over and over again.

Of course it was only directed towards me. I never heard him say anything to Sydney. Nope it was always me that he had to rag on. I did so much shit around here and I never say one word. There's no point because I hated confrintation.

As soon as I put everything away I headed into the house and grabbed a piece of fruit.

"Spencer you need to eat something other than that."

"I'm not hungry mom. Besides I'm heading over to Lexie to see Ace."

"Your not going to stay for dinner?"

"I don't have time mom. After Lexies I'm heading over to Aarons."

"Alright but you better get something to eat while your out. You haven't been eating lately."

"That's because I don't have time."

"Well that's not good Spencer."

"Yeah ok." I walked out of the kitchen and went to my room in the back. I'm so lucky to have my room at the opposite side of the house. I like my quiet. Of course that didn't last for long.

"What are you doing?" I turned to see Sydney standing there with Jay in her arms. Sydney and I aren't really close for sisters. Don't ask me why but it's always been like that between us. I walked over to her and I took Jay out of her arms.

My lil niece. She was only four months and I loved her to death.

"Just getting ready to head out. Did you guys come for dinner?"

"Yeah Eric is helping dad outside with the truck."

"Yeah I saw that when I pulled up." I gave Jay a kiss on the cheek and handed her back to Syd so I could finish getting ready for tonight.

"Well I guess I'll let you get back to getting ready."

"Alright." I grabbed some clothes from my closet and I headed to the shower.

--

"Come here buddy!" I was sitting in Lexies livingroom playing with Ace as we had the TV on watching some Curious George. Ace could not live without his Curious George. So what do I do I buy him a few DVD's so he could watch them when he wants. Of course that meant that we all had to watch it when he wanted to. He was awesome.

"Are you going to stay for dinner?" Lexie snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked back at her as she was sitting on the couch watching us play. I wanted to tell her yes that I would stay but I knew that I would have to be leaving here shortly so I could head over to Aarons.

"Nah I can't stay."

Lexie is my bestfriend. I've known her all through high school and than something happened. She kissed me. It was a shocker when it happened but it happened none the less. It took me some time to think about everything that was happening to me at that time in my life and she was with me every step of the way. She was the first girl that I've ever loved. We were together for a year but we never said anything to anyone. Till this day I still haven't said anything about it. I seriously thought that I was going to be with her forever but one day she came home and told me that she was engaged. Can you believe that? After everything that we had been through she comes out and tells me that she was engaged with this guy who she met from a friend. It literally broke my heart in a million pieces that night.

I ran from her and I continued to run. I needed to release everything that I was feeling inside of me.

So here we are now. I'm still not really sure about my life and she was married and had my nephew Ace. He's the best thing that came out of the marriage. Well that's what I think anyways. John and I don't really talk only when we are all in the same room with eachother and that's only because Lexie starts conversations that brings us into a conversation or more like a discussion I guess you can say.

Either way I still think about everything that has happened with us and part of me still loves her.

--

"You need a shot!" Aaron was yelling over the music and I was already feeling the four beers I had. Usually I don't get drunk fast at all. I can handle my liquor pretty good but tonight I don't know what it was but it hit me pretty fast. I mean we were only here for an hour and I was already feeling pretty good.

"I don't know." I was trying to focus on her when I was waving my hand at her.

"Come on. It's Captain Morgan and it's on me."

"No I got this round." Both Aaron and I turned around to see Ashley and Danielle standing there. Danielle didn't look all that pleased but Ashley looked like she was nothing but smiles. How does she do that? How can she always have a smile on her face whenever I see her?

We said our hellos and then we went on our way to our drinks.

Danielle took a picture of us all downing a shot of what we prefered and mine was Captain Morgan. You better believe that shit is the best. No lie!

So we sat there talking like everything was good and we had a good conversation going to when Danielle came over looking like she wanted to start something.

"We need to talk." Ashley turned around to her to talk with her and I could see the hurt in her face.

How can someone want to bring her down for? She sure made me happy whenever she was around. I tried not to listen because I didn't want to be nosey but Danielle was pretty loud when she was talking with Ashley.

Danielle stomped off towards the door and I sat there looking over towards Ashley as she looked like she was defeated.

Damn nobody needed to be treated like that.

Especially not Ashley.

**(A/N: Hey you...soo I would just like to come out now and thank my FRIEND for this idea for a story...shes awesome hahaha...anyways I wanted to say HIII and thanks again for the love...totally loved it all lol...soo you know what to do...leave me some love!! Now I got to run and get my ass to work before I'm late!! hahaha...oh well I guess!! XOXO**


	3. Chapter 3

I'm sitting here in front of this comp wanting to go back to bed but I need to work on my stories...thats just the type of person I am hahaha...anyways thx again for the reviews...I'm glad Ohio10 is loving it! ;) We'll heres the next one!!

xoxo

**Confessions **

Practice starts today which also means that I'm going to be hanging out with Ashley. I don't know what it is but I've had her on my mind lately. Not that it's a bad thing because trust me it's not at all. I keep on thinking of the night at the bar when her and Danielle got into a arguement. I hated seeing her like that and I really didn't want to see it again. All I knew was that Danielle did not treat her right at all.

--

_"Sorry about that. She's usually not like this." Ashley and I were sitting at the bar. _

_"Are you ok?" I just wanted to make sure that she was ok. _

_"Yeah I'm fine. No need to worry about that. Let's have another drink" I could tell that she wanted to ignore the topic so I let her do what she wanted to do and we grabbed another beer. _

_This time I did the buying. _

_-- _

That night was still playing in my head. With the fact that I was going to see her again today it was working my brain into overtime. What did she have over me? It was like I was really falling for her.

??

--

"Spencer your here!" Heather came walking over to me as soon as I entered the bar. It looked like everyone was gathered around the pool table having a few before practice.

I smiled at Heather and walked over to where everyone else was.

"Here are some of the girls from the team. Christie, Sarah, Lisa(LOL), Jessie. Of course you already know Ashley and Danielle over there." I looked to the corned and they were sitting there smiling at eachother. For that split second I was jealous of Danielle. Ashley was a great person and I could tell that the first time I met her.

"Hey everyone." I got waves and smiles from everyone. I took a seat by the table and watched them finish up their game.

"Hey Spence! What do you want to drink?" I looked over at Heather by the bar buying more rounds for the ladies.

"What evers on tap is good." I wasn't really in the mood to drink but I was asked to come out and have a drink before practice so I was going to have one.

"How are you doing?" Ashley and Danielle came over to sit with me.

"I'm doing good. How are you guys?"

"Good thanks." Danielle answered before Ashley could say something but I knew that she would of said the same thing. Ashley always tried to play things off when I could sence that there was something wrong there. I shook me head up and down. A second later Heather came back with a few drinks and I grabbed mine quick and in no time I had that sucker down.

I guess I needed one more than I had thought I did.

But damn did it ever taste good going down my throat.

"So are you excited about the season starting?" Ashley asked me as we were sitting there looking at the game that was going on in front of us.

"Oh yeah. It seems like it's been forever since I've played."

"Yeah Heather mention something like you use to play in high school." Hmm interesting. They talk about me.

"Yeah I played in high school. That was pretty much my life."

"What happened?" You know when most people ask me that question I don't go into details about it because it involved Lexie. I wasn't really sure that I wanted everything out there in the open like that so I just gave as much detail as I could without bring up the main subject.

"Alot was going on in life at the time of my senior year and I wasn't sure that I was going to play in college. So after the season I just left it at that and went on to OSU." Ashley sat there drinking her beer understanding what I was talking about.

Why did she get me so well?

"Ladies we got to go." Heather yelled out for all of us to get going.

I swear I think our whole team took up the whole bar.

xxxx

"Take two ladies!" The coach was yelling at us to get the double play. I was on third, Ashley was Shortstop, Danielle was pitcher, and Heather was catcher. I swear it felt like old times being here on the field and playing what I loved. I was really starting to hate the fact that I didn't play in college.

Practice went good and after we were done I was getting all of my stuff together to head back to my truck when Ashley stopped me.

"Hey we are having a movie night tomorrow night you need to come." Her smile had already made up my mind for me. How can you say no to something that beautiful?

You couldn't, that's how.

"That sounds good." I smiled back making sure that she knew that I really wanted to be there with her.

"Good. I can't wait."

I had it bad man. I seriously was hooked and I didn't know what to think. Here she was a great person in front of me and never once did she make me feel like I didn't belong here. Not once. She tried to include me in everything that they do and I loved spending as much time as I could with her. She had me trapted and she didn't even know it.

xxxx

On the way home I was driving and texting Haley. I wanted to tell her about my day.

**Spencer- Hey **

**Haley- Wats up? **

**Spencer- I think I'm falling for Ashley. **

Just like that everything was out. I knew that I had a thing for her and now I was letting her know.

**Haley- I KNEW IT! LOL **

**Spencer- What do u mean? **

**Haley- Ever since u met Ashley that's all u talk about. It's totally cute! Aww Spencers hooked. **

**Spencer- I don't know what it is. I can't stop thinking about her when she isn't around and I can't wait to see her when I leave. **

**Haley- Yep! U got it bad. LOL **

**Spencer- Ya. **

**Haley- Wat about Danielle? **

**Spencer- That's another reason why I'm never going to tell her. I can't. I'm not like that. **

I know that they got into their arguements with eachother but then there was times where I would see them happy together. Of course I was happy that she was happy but I would be even more happier if I was the one with her.

**Haley- That sucks. Don't worry everything will work out. **

Those last words of Haley were ringing in my head and I really wanted everything to work out. I just don't know when or if that will ever happen.

**(A/N: Hey you guys...sorry its late and sorry its short...but I've been busy beyond and I'm just supper tired with everything...but yeah anyways thx for all the love...please keep it coming...I need some encouragement right now from everyone! Thank you again! xoxo)**


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